Friday, January 1, 2016

Back to Being Best Buddies

Junior high was the first time I realized that he's actually pretty cool.

(Not that he was not cool before, when I got to know this guy he was already awesome. Great father figure, charismatic leader, #RESPECT. Then I learned that he speaks my language, he's totally into football, and we could talk about anything and everything. Pretty cool, believe me).

We were inseparable ever since.
At school we sat together, had bakmie ayam together, everything together.
Studying with him felt almost effortless, he could explain stuff to me much clearer than the teachers did, he also taught me some useful tricks to memorize stuff.
I wrote him notes on my textbooks: funny stuff, doodles, even S.O.S notes (my math teacher was fiercer than your mom).

We watched Juve almost every weekend.
I highed-five him everytime they won, eventho until now I'm not actually sure which side is he on. But that's fine, it kept the game exciting, like what football is supposed to be.

He also somehow kept life exciting by being unpredictable.
I don't know if he only acted mysterious to keep the game on or what, but it seemed to work.

In junior high there were also dark moments, several months of daily fear.
If I were him I probably would have grown tired of our friendship.
But he remained a great friend. He was there by my side, helping me until I could smile again.
Since then I knew he is not just a nice guy, he went all out.
And he seems to be capable of doing everything.
Nothing is impossible if I got him, really.

He made first year of high school much mooooore bearable.
I doodled on Chemistry textbook and he warned me if the teacher's coming.
I talked to him when things got boring (I'm talking about P.E.).
Well, sometimes. Sometimes. He jokes around. He made funny stuff happen.
"To keep high school memorable," he said, laughing.
And he reaaaally, really seemed to enjoyed it when we had to things like jumping to the pitch-black jamboree mud.

He made the rest of high school FUN.
Okay he used that 'to keep high school memorable' excuse again by making me talk in sociology class (but also whispered to me the right things to say whenever I ran out of words).
I also relapsed once, quiet badly. Only for two days, but I felt like giving up on myself.
But he did not give up on me.
Again he was always there by my side, helping me until I could smile again.

In a way that I (still) cannot explain, he somehow, managed to bring me to Italy.
And in the same year dragged my shivering-fearful self to witness Italy win the world cup.
He said that he waited for the right time to make my dream come true.
Where else you can find a best friend like this, how could I be soooo lucky?

In college, we were closer then ever. 
We moved to a new country, but I was not afraid because I got him.
We stayed up all night brainstorming, doing projects, we did that often, and we LOVED it.
We explored new places, tried this food and that food (I kind of think we're tastebud-buddies too but I'm way more compulsive), prata at 2AM, deliberately getting lost in the CBD (which I thought felt similar to NYC), we had so much, so much, so much fun. 

There were a lot of disappointments in the later part of college and sometimes I acted like it's his fault (I'm sorry). Only to realize there's much more to life than my expectations, and that whatever he did was love.

After college, we still talked everyday, but not like what we used to do.
Sometimes I got too busy with work that I neglected him, 
he was actually there beside me all the time, not wanting me to feel alone.

I'm sorry :(

On lunch breaks, I talked to my colleagues and I forgot to include him in the conversation. Although I knew how much he wanted to say the words we needed to hear.

I'm sorry :(

Sometimes I got too stressed out until I forgot that he's capable of doing anything. I guess he also wondered why didn't I just ask him for help, he's more than willing.

I'm sorry :(

I missed him. I missed us. Sometimes I made a promise to be what we used to be, but after sometime, I went back to being busy again. I'm sorry :(. And as time went by and I encountered more disappointments in life, I acted like it's his fault again. I'm sorry :( And when I heard the sound of storms, I focused on the storms and forgot he's got my back.

I'm really sorry :(

On one fine Sunday, I heard someone talking about him, he's also his best friend.
That guy talked about how wonderful he is, how good life is when he's your best friend,
and how can he be that lucky.

And I realize I was that lucky. And I want to be that lucky again.

He smiled.

Whatever happened, please forgive me.
Let's go back to being best buddies again, Lord Jesus.
It's my 2016 resolution.